i’ve never vent for so long but this is seriously killing me. my ideal colleges from freshmen year and part of sophomore year have most definitely changed. I had all these UCs in mind, taking a good amount of honors/ap classes & now i’m in a hole thats ending in 4 weeks. there are days when i regret ever transferring but who the hell can i talk to because everyone’s bias? so many times i thought about transferring back but how would that make me look? THATS THE THING. i care so fucking much about how people see me and that’s how i ended up here. i mean at a point i really didn’t care and was happy with my life. then that’s when all of my grades started to drop. I loved cheer, but why the fuck did it have to be a two season sport? yeah that’s something i would like to be told before i tried out. i had no fucking idea we were suppose to get ready for football, basketball & cheer comp. seasons. I got home at like 6 everyday and how are you gunna make me go all the way to south city for 3+ hour long practices. STOP GETTING ME TO GO TO OPEN GYM. as much i wanna work on myself do i look like i’m capable to cheer so much? it’s not rocket science but i’m obviously not THAT dedicated to become the best cheerleader i could be. so i’m like i should quit now to work on my grades but what’s the point when they’re already damaged? with this possible D/F haunting me in physics, what am i suppose to say when i can’t even get into state colleges? i feel like i’m not going to get accepted into anywhere and my life is fucking ruined. straight up why did i transfer & why did i cheer? 

• SJSU
• eventually somehow quit cheer without regretting
• Summer job
• Summer school for bio